


Spanking the Pink Monster

by bactaqueen



Category: AFI
Genre: Humor, Implied Relationship, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-11
Updated: 2014-09-11
Packaged: 2018-02-16 22:52:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,180
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2287424
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bactaqueen/pseuds/bactaqueen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jade has a problem and needs to spank the Pink Monster.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Spanking the Pink Monster

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to actual people or events is entirely coincidental. Pain is a registered trademark of Walt Disney, and no copyright infringement is intended.
> 
> Author's Note: Originally posted August 2005.

Jade shut the bedroom door behind him and dropped the damp, threadbare towel from his waist. He stepped over the wet lump and padded across the carpet to the desk, where his black pants were draped over the back of the chair. As he hopped around, tugging the denim up his legs, he heard it: soft giggling punctuated by high-pitched squeals.

As he sealed his jeans, Jade looked around the embarrassingly small and messy bedroom. He saw nothing out of place, nothing different than when he'd left it to shower. He frowned. There was a sound--a quiet grunt? a low growl?--followed by a scratchy, nasal, drawn-out "Ew!" and a thud.

Jade narrowed his eyes and stalked the few feet from the desk to the closet door. He closed his hand on the crystal knob, twisted, and yanked hard.

Light flooded the cramped, disorganized closet. A heat, unnatural even for the height of summer, spilled from within. Jade's eyes flickered over the assorted limp jackets and flannel button-downs he never wore, then swept down. Shoes littered the floor of the closet, and among those shoes was the source of all the noise.

Pain was perched on the toe of one of his favorite sneakers. The little pink monster clutched in his grubby claws a half-empty tube of rather expensive hair gel. In the light, his normally-matte skin glistened. As Jade watched, Pain smeared a fat glob of gel on his paunchy belly.

Jade's fingers convulsed around the doorknob. "What are you doing?" he demanded, staring wide-eyed at his closet demon. The shoes Pain was standing over were soaked in gel, and the tube was a punctured and torn mess, mangled around Pain's claws.

Pain grinned up at his human host. "It's making me all sticky!" He extended one short arm to Jade. "Feel!"

Sputtering, Jade managed, "You're not supposed to use it like that."

"You do," Pain retorted, and hopped off the shoe he'd been sitting on.

Heat flushed Jade's neck and face. He mumbled, "I don't use that like that. This goes in my hair." Unable to meet the imploring taunt in the monster's eyes, Jade looked down. He realized that not only were his favorite shoes soaked in hair gel, but that Pain's claws had shredded them. "Fuck! You ruined my shoes!" Jade reached down and gripped the little monster by his shoulders, preventing him from making use of the small wings on his back. "What have I told you about my things?" Pain's scaly skin was sticky in places and slick in others. Jade had to curl his fingers tight to keep his grip.

A comically frustrated expression crossed Pain's inhuman face, and he squeezed what remained of the tube of gel, aiming it at Jade's bare chest. A blob of the sticky, thick substance shot out and splattered against Jade's damp skin. Pain began to squirm in Jade's grasp, kicking his feet and wiggling his body. 

"I just wanted to play!"

Jade wrestled with the little pink monster, struggling to maintain his hold as the demon changed his shape. "You can't waste my stuff, Pain! I need it!"

Pain-the-snake tried to sink enlarged, venomous fangs into Jade's wrist, all the while wriggling. "I get bored, Jade! You never let me out of the closet!"

The demon was stronger than he looked. Jade wrestled the shape-shifting monster, finding the angles the creature was capable of awkward for his long arms, and the forms unpredictable. "Now you're getting me sticky!"

***

Davey was on his way from the landing to the bathroom when he heard the ruckus in Jade's bedroom. He paused in the narrow hall just before the door and stared. After a few moments of listening to the scuffle, Davey crept forward and knocked lightly. His voice held an edge of worry when he called, "Jade? What's going on?"

Jade's heated response was immediate. "I'm spanking the pink monster. He made a mess in my shoes!"

Unbidden, the images to accompany Jade's explanation rose in Davey's mind. He recoiled, drawing his hand against his chest and taking a step back. He winced at the door. "Okay, man, that'sway too much information. Put it away and get ready. We're gonna be late."

A sharp cry was followed by Jade's indignant, "He spit in my eye!"

Davey stepped back. "Ew."

"What's ew?" Hunter asked, wandering out of his bedroom and toward the staircase.

Davey wrinkled his nose and opened his mouth to respond, but was cut off by Jade's incensed voice.

"Fuck! That burns! Don't rub it in my eye!"

As Hunter watched, Davey screwed his face up and took another step away from the door.

Worry colored Jade's voice when he shouted, "Don't waste it all!"

Hunter raised one bushy eyebrow at Davey. "What's with him?"

A flush crept up Davey's neck and stained his cheeks. "He's spanking the Pink Monster."

The men shared a silent, heavy look.

Hunter snickered. "He's... spanking..."

A particularly loud and wet squishing sound from the other side of the door was followed by a low, throaty growl.

Annoyance suddenly passed over Davey's face. "If he stole my lube for this..." His eyes flickered to the door to the bathroom he and Jade shared as he pushed the devil-lock out of his face.

Hunter's snickering became quiet laughter. "Well, I have a shitload he can--" Hunter hesitated, and a devious smile curved his lips. "Borrow."

Davey blinked rapidly as his brain tried to comprehend and he refused to allow it. 

The wet, smacking sounds from Jade's bedroom grew louder. Squeals were punctuated by breathy grunts. Something crashed. Jade's shout was distinct, one of shock and victory. There was a thump, and then silence replaced the sounds of the commotion.

Jade's final triumphant cry of "And stay in there!" signaled the end of the disturbance.

Hunter leered at a clearly horrified Davey. He started to speak, but was interrupted by Jade flinging his bedroom door open. Hunter shifted his attention from the scandalized man in the hall to the rumpled, messy man in the doorway. 

Jade's pants were skewed, the top button open and the zipper lowered slightly. His bare chest glistened in places, globs of something clear and thick sliding down his skin. He was flushed and panting a little, and his hair was sweat-soaked. Jade wiped his right hand up and down the leg of his black jeans while he held his shredded and sopping sneakers away from his body. He looked from the shoes to Davey to Hunter before dropping his gaze. A faint blush colored his cheeks.

"I'm... ah... gonna need a few more minutes..."

Davey pressed his lips in a thin line and spun on his heel. "The rest of us will be in the van... waiting!"

Hunter stared after Davey, waiting until the agitated man had stormed halfway down the stairs before he turned to Jade and grinned. "Why wasn't I invited?"

Jade winced. "It wasn't pretty, man."

Laughing, Hunter slung an arm over Jade's sticky shoulders and steered him toward the bathroom. "When is it ever?"


End file.
